Courage of a Teenager
“Just get on with it” I say as another “do I have to?” moan begrudgingly falls from my son's mouth. Young teenagers just want to be doing their own thing with their friends or need to be heads down in a device. Yes need, not want, but need they say, and yes, I’ve asked and scratched my head many times at this. I guess up to this point Teens have been corralled from A to B on a leash and while they've put up protests, their demands were often shot down, with a no, that’s why, because, when you are older, if you behave etc.
Kids at some stage start to form their own opinions with their own information. Where do they get this information? Well at times it seems it’s based on what they think in the moment because I’ve got a “no its doesn't” or “that’s not true” slammed back at me with a vicious forehand and not because of evidence backed by data, no, because they didn’t think it could possibly be true, so it wasn’t in their minds. This head full of solid facts on how things work (but really don’t work) walks out the front door to meet up with other heads (friends) where they harden these fictional views. You’re supposed to let them off and not worry as they make decisions over their day out of eye and ear shot. But relax, it's all okay as it’s all part of the learning process of moving from a child on through the awkward teenage years into adulthood, right?
But you do let them off and you have to let them off even if it's hard. Kids have so much more information at their hands to learn versus previous generations and not all of it is fake news. It’s better to be on their side and show some acceptance of who they are becoming as they learn to make decisions on their own in the real world, the adult world, which is no easy thing. Sure, it's still not easy when you become an adult so better to start practicing and learning early. I am definitely not always that accepting parent and have fallen into risk and fear thinking many times instead of stepping over the line to their world and turning round to see their view and their perspective.
But wouldn’t it be great to keep that resilience and confidence teenagers have into your adult years and beyond? Where everything is looked on as new and exciting not as change and perhaps fear. Where you are happy to make decisions even without the proper information and not care what anyone thinks versus deferring to the boss or another for fear of knock back, peer pressure and loss of social place. Where you feel confident and strong believing nothing can or will hurt you and it’s a mere trifle forging those bigger and risky make or break decisions versus staying in place, comfortable and not following the dream for fear of losing what you have and where you might end up.
Unfortunately, we lose this free and innovative way of being and conform to society norms, it’s hierarchies and incumbents. I know at some stage it's inevitable to think about the future especially when you have children because everything changes. But I guess in doing so we give up a little each day even though we’re not aware we do. When the kids leave home, or if we’ve meandered in our job, we find there is a void as realization hits of other wants in life that were shelved and now seem too hard to take down and blow the dust away. But can you get this adventurous mentality back and start something new, something you always dreamed of? Well of course, but first:
Give yourself a break. You’ve been put on a conveyor belt with few opportunities to get off. It's not your fault, it is as it is. You’ve had success in your life and can continue to even if it’s new. Time to let the teenage mindset break free again and start by being compassionate with yourself.
Have the courage to write down and talk out loud about what you really want to someone or a few people and let the world conspire to help you. Let your body hear what you have to say.
What got you here will definitely help move you forward. Your experience, planning, ideas, hard work and the building of routines that have helped you form habits over the years to achieve your goals.
A real purpose and desire for that new change is the most important thing at this stage. Without it you’ll begin down a path, stop and start, never finish and end up frustrated.
Yours in adventure,
