What can I authentically claim as my own?

It's a wonderful question but also one that can leave you stumped and if dwelt on it too long, may start an unsettling feeling that grows from your solar plexus. A question that nags to be answered, a question that pops into your mind when you are left alone with your thoughts; what's that one thing I can do that others can’t and is the reason why I am here?

I believe because each of us is uniquely different, we all have the potential for that one thing we can do that others can’t. Many carry that unsettling feeling in their bodies forever, never realising what their unique potential or gift is, making it truly the hidden torment of the masses that is always felt but rarely spoken.

While walking the dog with my wife a few years back I too felt the torment and perhaps what could be described as a numbness within and a longing for something to break free. I blurted out a quote “My ambitions are held hostage to my inhibitions” because for me the worst of it wasn’t that I couldn’t put my finger on what my authentic hidden secret was rather my inhibitions we’re blocking me from finding the secret or performing in a manner that unleashed my full potential.

What’s the definition of “Inhibition”? - “A feeling that makes one self-conscious and unable to act in a relaxed and natural way.” You could put it a number of different ways such as just plain fear, lack of confidence, worried what people will think, lack of self esteem, fear of failure etc.

Now, it's not only something unique that might be blocked from us, it more often can be a state of presence, enlightenment or what is commonly known as being in-flow and this being dampened so we’re afraid to let go and be our authentic selves, performing at the level we’re capable. Most often with my coaching clients the problem initially is wanting a new job, greater team performance or more revenue but as we move through the work the goal is usually an upstream mindset or mental block in a certain situation that is inhibiting unleashing a clients full potential. Once this is unblocked then everything falls into place. 

Let me ask you this, when was the last time you were in full flow? Let me help first and outline what it might have looked like - A time when you were energised and focused, active and involved, present and full of enjoyment. When you behaved and acted without thinking and were consumed with the proceedings no matter who was involved. So, can you remember the last time you were in this zone?

Sometimes we are in full flow with certain groups/people but other groups/people we struggle with. That was a big one for me where I came away feeling empty, that I left something behind after engaging with certain groups or people. I didn’t put my best foot forward and annoyingly I did it over and over again. My inhibitions got the better of me and I would inwardly think, catastrophize, mind read, label, all or nothing think etc. that stopped me from performing as I’d like. Until it got to a stage where I would convince myself “I don’t do that” or “That is just not me” and not try anymore but still be anxious within that group/people. Basically a recurring nightmare that I was awake for. 

What happens if a situation like that is left unchecked? It eats away at you, you feel incomplete, resentment builds and turns your thinking apathetic and so inhibits motivation and performance. Unfortunately in my case by avoiding it for so long I was giving it energy and what I didn’t want then grew and grew until that is what I always got.  

Boiling it all down we’re talking about life/work PURPOSE and unblocking your AUTHENTIC-SELF for performing or operating “in-flow” regardless of the situation or people involved. 

Without doubt we all have a place or situation where our authentic-self is inhibited no matter if we are the CEO or four steps down the ladder. We don’t all struggle with purpose however but can be something that creeps up on us as we go through life. Perhaps we get jaded and want something more from life or less of a thing and purpose is a good word for it.  

For right now, try to remember back to the last time you were in full flow and how you felt, what you were doing, the context and opportunity, what you were saying, who were the people around you, what were they saying etc. Look to build more of those type situations and events in your day because if you do then happiness and performance will follow.  

If this resonates with you then hold on and my next article will outline approaches to start managing performing in the moment so you’re not afraid to unleash your authentic-self. You can also reach out and ask me questions in the meantime if you can’t wait :).