Self-Cares’ impact on Goal attainment
I was working for a company towards the end of 2018 that was going through a business restructure. The re-org inevitably produced redundancies, team changes and all was signposted to employees early on. It was a difficult time for everyone, it being so near to Christmas and when people are worried and stressed their immediate work usually suffers, and it did here. The situation came with the usual gossiping and social loafing quickly followed by storytelling, and not the good kind, then worry and a bungee jump into anger and fear. So, employees' daily productivity and short-term company goals took a hit, and my productivity was no exception.
Early in the process I decided I would take redundancy and leave, find a new job and take a few weeks off. But my energy was low, I felt hard done by and burned out, so of course being proactive and positive about a new job was just as hard as keeping focused on my fading but existing job. I was not frequently living an EASSED Life. An acronym I’ve coined standing for Exercise, Attitude, Sleep, Sate the Soul, Eat and Drive. I lapsed with my EASSED approach and didn’t fuel and maintain my engine correctly to continue to take positive actions when it was needed most. I had been through a redundancy before and knew the drill, but it doesn’t get any easier especially if you are left to story-tell with your work colleague all day, mostly unchecked. And did we gossip? Did we ever as well as complain, bang the desk, subversive protest, you name it, we did it.
As time went on, we moved beyond the angry and acceptance phase and started to think about next career steps. I mentioned to my colleague that I would like to be a Coach at some stage but what Jen said next knocked me for the proverbial six. “In order to give people the best version of yourself, you have to BE the BEST version of yourself.” I didn’t see it until that moment, I was in victim mode, too caught up with negative stories and I needed to snap out of it before they embedded into by being. I realised that I couldn’t work with someone else’s needs as a Coach if I was below par myself.
Within the Action Success Framework there is space I call “Action Time”, it's where the rubber hits the road and we’re in flow delivering our tasks to reach our goals/vision. Within this flow we not only need to take care of the work tasks but also what I call the All-Heart tasks and practices, which are looking after "you" and not just the doing of the tasks. I guess the more familiar verbiage is to manage our Self-care. You can have a great daily and weekly task planner but if you don’t make goals SMART + All-Heart and manage your EASSED approach our chances of success and completion to your desired level are diminished.
Self-Care is not a nice to have, it's a core competency to success and for consistent delivery. For me, the A (attitude) and D (Drive) in an EASSED Life are most important. Being positive with a good attitude while aiming in the direction aligned with your true self (purpose) ensures most situations are just a little speed bump on the road to your success. A good Attitude and Drive will enable you to start eating better or doing the hardest step like putting those runners on for that first run. When there are setbacks and there will be, your Attitude and Drive will help you take action to eat well, sleep well, exercise and move you to grasp opportunities the negative stories would usually mask.
But how can we stay positive especially in tough circumstances like through a reorganization or what seem like impossible work tasks or with life’s hardships in general?
7 bounce backs that work for me and keep me on the path to my goals:
Breathe
I was introduced to box breathing by a number of people and gave it a try. It’s pretty simple: breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, breath out for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds and repeat. This can be a quick and effective tool that can be used if you are anxious going into an important meeting presenting your plan or if your day is one video call after the next and you just need something to quickly help invigorate.
Compassion and forgiveness for yourself
We can be extremely hard on ourselves and get trapped unawares in a loop of negative self-hurting talk. Saying things to our being that we would never say to others. In doing this we hold onto resentment and anger and the learnings are obscured from our view. Instead stop and say “I’m trying my best, next time I will be better, I'll try to do this instead etc.” or something comparable. Give it a try and you will notice your mood changes almost instantly and you will see a way through as a glimmer of learning light appears that would otherwise have been in your self-berating blind spot.
Talking
It's not easy to let go of what is making you feel bad or to let your emotions out to another person. The receiver needs to be someone you trust and is a good listener. But if you can take that step it will be so worth it, trust me. Release your burden and add a powerful tool to your self-care kit. It's never too late to talk.
Have a north star path
If you know where you want to go in life with a bigger picture on your horizon, when setbacks come along you will always rise above them because you are aiming for that bigger far-off place. You will see the setback as potholes, blips that can be easily filled in so you can continue on your path. Your far-off place doesn’t have to be a physical thing, it could be a state of mind and contentment.
A partner in Success
Two heads are always better than one when solving a puzzle. Do you have a friend, mentor, business colleague or coach that you confide in to discuss your north star or setbacks? Having such a person can play wonders on your positivity so you see those learning glimmers and know you always have a go to buddy in times of need. I have such a person, a coach that no matter how our session goes I always come away positive ready to bounce back.
Courage
When it comes to making an important decision, especially if it will be a life changer, I think there are only two things you need to understand 1. Courage. You need to have the courage to back yourself and go for it. This can be scary but so is having a regret down the line that means your chance passed forever. If you cannot back you then who will? You know yourself; you know your skills, your strengths, and your experience, so find that courage from your self-care routine and 2. You are ready to work hard and learn. It’s straightforward enough in the end; will you work hard and learn from success and failure? If yes, super. You’ll never be 100% ready and you won’t know if you will succeed but have the courage to take a leap of faith and find out.
Action
Whenever I have bitten off too much resulting in a “rabbit in headlight” situation and start feeling anxious, I know that acting as soon as I can, will move things on mentally and with the problem at hand. Nothing else will help until you take Action and kick on. But how do you get into the right mindset to take the action when everything seems like a struggle? Well, I’ve given you a few hints above but first things first, breathe and show yourself some self-compassion. It might take time and has with me, but you will see that glimmer to help bounce you back.
Drive positive,
