We’re walking around with an idea, a want and dreams in our head of success we’d like to achieve. As we mull over these thoughts we feel good, it’s nice to daydream and it actually helps our physiology creating a positive outlook in the moment. Simultaneously however we carry the reality and a picture of what we actually can achieve based on the level and ceiling of the best success we’ve had so far. As we think about moving these ideas forward that picture sneaks into view, the picture manifests as a feeling and our physiology dampens as we move onto other work at hand.

This doesn’t stop us however from writing old school BHAG’s (Big hairy audacious goals) that we soon add to the “look at next week” pile. We love to talk about ideas, dream about them but most cases it stops there. For those that put a plan together and start on their adventure, they can find it difficult and lose heart or stop and start over and over and for the life of them can’t understand why they follow the madness path, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting something will be different.

I’ve worked with clients on their purpose, beliefs and values and as a quick web search will show you so has millions more. Once you find another exercise you're drawn to and find the motivation to give it a go again, more often than not, if left to your own devices, you will end up with a result that does not hit the mark. When you read it and try to live by it, it evokes no emotion; it certainly doesn't help you organise, plan and start the work.

There are a few reasons for this:

1. Your unconscious mind already has a picture and a belief of what you are capable of so anything that does not match that will be sabotaged by it, by you. You see at the end of the day it wants to protect you, make you safe, mentally and physically so going after something much bigger than you're used to is not normal. It's attacked as your immune system attacks a foreign body entering into its body space. 

2. Your unconscious waters down what we most want in life. So if someone asks you questions like “what do you want?” or “what is the most important thing for you to do?” or “If you could have that one thing you most want tomorrow, what would that be?. You will find it hard to answer honestly with your whole body committed to that answer. You know the answer you want to give, even though you can’t see it clearly but it won’t come out. Or some diminished “safe” version comes out instead. Even if you are alone with no one listening, even if you just write it on a paper to burn later, it is still hard to be honest with yourself.

3. If you do manage to say what you really want, there is that large part of believing it and holding your unconscious at bay from interfering so you can make it real. You sense this is out of your comfort zone and will be tough so the fear holds you back. Which we now know is our unconscious mind following its programming.

I too have fallen foul of this over and over throughout my life. As I always strive to grow the ceiling will always rise, so there is no escaping the fear and battle to push through. But I know now that there is a secret and not one of your classic middle of the night “Eureka” moments. Rather as with anything in life, the silver bullet to success is always more practical and hard working. This is how I approach it: 

• As I talk out loud my next goal or what I really want etc. I need to notice an uncomfortable feeling within my body. If so, I am on the right track. I Ignore any feelings that make light of this, to change the subject or ignore it. I write it down, what I want or what I need to do and leave it. I know I will come back to it and I occupy myself doing something else before I sabotage and convince myself to take it no further.

• I set some dates to deliver a big piece on the path to my goal that will be hard for me to get out of i.e. other people now are dependent on that delivery. This should cause me some stress and be uncomfortable. But I now know not to overly worry as it's natural, part of the process and will dissipate. 

• I get into planning what I need to do. Then agree when and how I will do this work, stick to it and start it.

• I most likely will wake up early in the morning thinking about it from time to time or when I am supposed to be doing other things my mind will shift to worry about it and I won’t be present. This will happen at the beginning as I find my rhythm to work the plan and more importantly make progress. Making progress, even a small amount, is the most important thing I can do.

• As I make progress toward this newer and bigger goal I am reprogramming my unconscious mind that it's okay to go after bigger work and that I can achieve it. If I find my motivation is declining or I’m becoming overly worried I can bet that the plan is not sound and I am not making the progress I need to keep reprogramming. My unconscious has years of head start and so reprogramming it will take persistence and hard work but it can be done. 

• As I proceed I start visualising doing this new thing, what I will look like and the results I am getting. This helps paint the picture for my unconscious that my identity is changing, levelling up capability to a new level of success.  

There is no other way I’m sorry to say bar a catastrophic event happening that completely flips you and your life. My plans don’t always work out but it's not failure, only different results. But more importantly I’ve increased the ceiling height of what I think I can go after and achieve, I’ve refactored my code and added some new code too. Remember when you get that feeling to say no, preferring to sit with a cuppa in front of your favourite show feeling safe and happy, choosing to think that everything will work out somehow, DON’T DO IT. say NO to that way of thinking and move in another direction, I mean literally move, talk it out, write it down, follow the process.