Curiosity didn’t kill the cat
Curiosity definitely didn’t kill the cat! It was more like a heart attack from sitting around and sleeping all day and becoming fat on rich canned food. That proverb has given curiosity and cats a bad rep over the years and it’s time to lay it to rest.
Curiosity is a wonderful thing and should be one of the many things we practice every day so we get better and better at it. Some folks are naturally curious and still have a child-like mind for asking questions and following the answers deeper. But like anything we practice, curiosity can be learned and we can make the muscle stronger so it becomes an active part of our lives and used in so many situations. Here is just a few:
Curious for innovation
Being innovative is really being curious as you link ideas together and find commonalities of the most divergent concepts and begin to see new things in a new way. To create something new and different we have to do something new and different and be very curious along the way. There are so many tools and exercises you can use to spur this thinking in your innovation rituals.
Curious to tame the advice monster
It's natural that we all like to give advice or lead people to where we think they should go. But most times that won’t help much or not as often as you think. If we stopped and deliberately were a bit more curious to dig deeper and ask another question it would serve everyone better. It’s so important for leaders, managers and coaches to help folks build their awareness and ultimately accountability so they build better EQ for themselves and ultimately take responsibility for their performance.
Curious on why we are angry
We can get angry with ourselves so easily and do it so often too that we don’t even realise anymore as it’s become a habit. If we have a habit of being angry with ourselves then most likely we will do the same with others too. But being curious when the red mist descends can help see what is really going on and enable us to have more compassion for ourselves and others. Ask what am I really angry for? Why is this happening so often? What is at the heart of it all? What would it be like if I wasn’t this way? Who am I impacting, not just myself? Etc.
Curious about differing opinions
How often do we believe that our way is the best and someone else's point of view is not valid? How many times do you need to get consensus on an issue but not enough people are willing to be curious to ask “Why would this person have such a view?”, “What is going on that they believe this is the right behaviour or approach?”, “What am I not seeing here?”, “What questions can I ask to understand this more so we can get on the same page or at least understand why and where we’re coming from?”. As we know the people with the most flexibility drive the outcomes of situations and a big reason for this is because they are curious.
Curious about stress and anxiety
We might wake up stressed or are in the shower and anxiety flows over us, but before we begin to worry about falling into the stress loop again, it's time to get curious. What am I seeing right now? Speak it out, look at what you are doing and start to say what you see e.g., “the shampoo bottle has a nice red and green colour. I wonder how much water am I using right now? If that spider doesn’t move it's going for a swim etc.” Distract the stress loop with new information and new thoughts until you can get moving again.
In conclusion, most people naturally want to talk about themselves but, if we can hold off when the compulsion to say “yeah that happened to me too and guess what...” and just listen and then ask a deeper question on the topic, we will expand our understanding of the person, our knowledge and build a better and more interesting life. So how can we slip into this curious mindset? An idea would be to have a daily reminder to ask more questions, to listen more in conversations or the next time you talk to a colleague try to find out something you don’t already know about them. As I like to say, we can’t ignore the ironclad law of “cause and effect” so if we start, we will get better at being curious.
